How many referees do you need?

Usually a couple, and application forms often ask for one of them to be your most recent employer. It's worth having a third lined up in case someone is away or slow to reply. Choose people who saw your work closely rather than the most impressive job titles you can find, and check with each of them before you put their name down.

Can a former employer refuse to give a reference?

In most jobs, yes. Outside certain regulated roles, employers generally aren't obliged to give one, and many will only confirm your job title and dates as a matter of policy. That says nothing about you. If it happens, ask a former manager whether they'd be willing to speak about your work personally, or offer the recruiter a different referee alongside the basic reference.

What's the difference between a reference and a recommendation?

A reference is given to a specific employer, usually at their request, often through a form or a phone call, and you rarely see it. A recommendation is written for you to keep and share: a few paragraphs about what you're like to work with, which anyone can read. Recruiters still run their reference checks, but a set of written recommendations gives them a clear picture before they pick up the phone.

How to ask for a reference: 13 messages to copy

Reference, referee, recommendation: know what you're asking for

In the UK, a reference is what a new employer checks before, or just after, offering you a job. Your referee is the person who gives it. A recommendation is broader: a written account of what you're like to work with, which you can show to anyone, whenever you like, without waiting for a recruiter to pick up the phone.

It helps to know which one you're after, because the request isn't quite the same. Plenty of organisations have a policy of only confirming your job title and the dates you worked there, and that confirmation comes from HR rather than from your old manager. What a recruiter really wants to hear, how you work and what you're good at, usually has to come from a person who's willing to speak for you personally.

An employment reference: requested by your new employer, often once you've been offered the role. It can be basic, covering only the facts, or it can cover your skills and how you did the job.
A personal or character reference: someone who knows you well vouching for your reliability and how you treat people. Useful for a first job, or when you're coming back after a career break.
A written recommendation: a few paragraphs from a manager, colleague or client about working with you, which you keep and share as you please. It can live on LinkedIn or on a profile built for recommendations.

Who to ask, and who to leave off the list

The best referee isn't the most senior name you can think of. It's the person who saw your work closely enough to describe it with examples, and who'll say yes with some enthusiasm. A director who met you twice will write something polite and vague. A team leader who watched you rescue a project will say something a recruiter remembers.

Application forms often ask for a couple of referees, and many want one of them to be your most recent employer. Keep a third in reserve, in case someone is away or changes jobs just as the call comes.

Your most recent line manager, or the one before if your current employer doesn't know you're looking yet.
A senior colleague or team lead who worked alongside you day to day, even if you never reported to them.
A client or partner, if much of your work faced outwards. They can speak to results in a way nobody inside can.
A tutor, lecturer or placement supervisor, if you're applying for your first proper job.
A volunteer coordinator or the manager from a part-time job, for a character reference or when you're changing field.
Not family, not friends, and not anyone who'd need reminding who you are.

When to ask, and how to phrase it

Ask before you put anyone's name on a form. A referee who gets a call out of the blue gives a hesitant reference, however much they like you, because they've had no time to think about what to say. Then tell them again when you're shortlisted or offered the role, so they know who'll be in touch and what the job involves.

The best moment of all is when you leave a job on good terms. Your work is fresh in everyone's mind, your manager still remembers the details, and asking feels natural rather than like a favour called in years later. Even if you're not applying for anything, ask then for a written recommendation you can keep. The same goes for a client who has just told you they're delighted: they're the easiest person in the world to ask.

If your current employer doesn't know you're looking, it's perfectly normal to say so on the application and ask for them to be contacted only once an offer is made. Recruiters are used to it.

As for the request itself, keep it short, specific and easy to turn down. That last part matters: someone who feels cornered writes a lukewarm reference, and a lukewarm reference can do more harm than none at all. Give people a graceful way out and the ones who say yes will mean it.

Say what it's for: the role, the organisation, and whether it's a phone call, a form or a written recommendation.
Remind them of your work together, especially if it's been a while: the team, the project, the period.
Say why you've chosen them. It quietly tells them what you'd like them to talk about.
Tell them who'll get in touch and how much of their time it's likely to take.
Offer to send your CV and the job description.
Ask by email or message rather than cornering someone in the corridor, so they can think before they answer.
Make it easy to say no, and mean it.

Reference request emails for a manager

These are written to be sent almost as they are. Swap in the details in square brackets, cut anything that doesn't sound like you, and keep the tone you'd use with that person face to face. If you always called your manager by their first name, a stiff 'Dear Sir or Madam' will only make things odd.

To a former manager, by email. Subject: Would you be happy to be a referee for me? Hi [name], I hope all's well at [company]. I've applied for a [role] at [organisation] and I've been shortlisted. You managed me through [project or period] and you know better than anyone how I work, so I'd love to put you down as a referee. They'd most likely send a short form or give you a quick call. I can send my CV and the job description, and I'd completely understand if now isn't a good time. Thanks either way, [your name]
To a manager you haven't spoken to for a while: Hi [name], it's been a while since we worked together on [team] at [company], so I hope this doesn't come out of nowhere. I'm applying for [role] and I'd like to list you as a referee, because you saw the work I did on [project] from start to finish. If you'd rather not, or feel you don't remember enough, just say so and there'll be no hard feelings. If you're happy to, I'll send a short reminder of what I worked on so you're not put on the spot.
To your current manager, once you've accepted an offer: Hi [name], as you know I've accepted a role at [organisation], and they'll be asking for a reference as part of their checks. Would you be happy to be the person they speak to? I've learnt a great deal on this team and I'd like the reference to come from someone who's seen that first-hand. HR will probably be asked to confirm my dates separately.
To HR, for a basic reference: Hello, I worked at [company] as [job title] until [month and year], and my new employer, [organisation], will be asking for a reference. Could you tell me who they should contact, and whether you need anything from me? Many thanks, [your name]
To a tutor or placement supervisor, for a first job: Hi [name], I was on your [course or placement] last year and I'm now applying for my first role in [field]. You saw how I handled [project, dissertation or placement], and I think you'd be the best person to speak about how I work. Would you be willing to act as a referee? I can send a short summary of what I did and the job I'm going for.
To your manager as you leave, for a written recommendation: Hi [name], before I go, could I ask one more favour? Would you write a short recommendation about what I did here and what I'm like to work with? It needn't be long, just honest. It would mean a lot to have it in writing from you, and I'd be glad to return the favour whenever it's useful.

Messages for colleagues, clients and a polite chaser

Colleagues and clients are often the best people to describe how you actually work, because they saw it up close and had no reason to be diplomatic about it. The request can be lighter than one to a manager, but it still needs to say what you'd like and why you've asked them in particular.

And people are busy. Silence is rarely a refusal; it's usually an inbox. One friendly chaser is fine. After that, take the hint and ask someone else.

To a colleague, for a written recommendation: Hi [name], I'm gathering recommendations from people I've worked closely with, and you were top of my list after [project]. Would you write a few lines about what it was like working together? You saw better than anyone how I handled [something specific]. No rush at all, and I'd be happy to write one for you too.
To a former colleague, on LinkedIn or by message: Hi [name], I hope the new team's treating you well. I'm updating my profile and I'd really value a recommendation from you, since we spent [period] working on [project] together. If it helps, the thing I'd most like someone to vouch for is how I [skill]. Only if you've got a moment.
To a client: Hi [name], it's been a pleasure working with you on [project]. I'm collecting a few recommendations from clients so new ones can see what working with me is really like. Would you be willing to write a short one about how the project went? A few honest sentences are plenty.
A polite chaser: Hi [name], just nudging this back up your inbox in case it got buried. No pressure at all if the timing's wrong. Could you let me know either way, so I can ask someone else if I need to? Thanks again.
A heads-up that the call is coming: Hi [name], thank you again for agreeing to be a referee. [Organisation] have offered me the role and will be in touch soon, most likely by email from [person or HR]. The job is [short description], and they're particularly interested in [skill or area], so [project] is probably the most useful example. I've attached my CV in case it helps.
When someone says no: Hi [name], thanks for getting back to me, and completely understood. I appreciate you being straight with me. I hope all's well at [company], and I'll let you know where I end up.

What to give your referee

A referee who says yes is doing you a favour, so make the favour easy. The more they have in front of them, the more specific they can be, and specific is what makes a reference persuasive.

The job description, or at least the handful of things the role really needs.
Your current CV, so what they say lines up with what you've written.
A short reminder of what you worked on together: the project, your part in it, what came of it. Stick to facts they can check against their own memory.
The name of whoever will contact them, and whether it'll be a form, an email or a call.
The points you'd most like them to cover, offered as suggestions rather than a script.
An honest note about anything awkward, such as a short stay or a gap, so they're never caught off guard.

Thanking them, and what to do with it afterwards

Thank people twice: when they agree, and when you know how it turned out. The second message is the one most of us forget, and it's the one referees appreciate most, because they rarely find out whether their help made any difference.

If a referee asks you to draft something for them, keep it factual and let them rewrite it in their own words. A reference that sounds like you rather than them is easy to spot, and it wastes the one thing a referee brings: their own voice.

Then look after what you've been given. A reference given over the phone is gone once the call ends, but a written recommendation keeps working. Save it, check the person is happy for it to be shared, add it to your profile, and read it again before your next interview, because it's often the clearest description of your strengths anyone will ever give you. And offer to write one back: recommendations tend to travel both ways.

A thank-you once it's done: Hi [name], I wanted to let you know I got the job at [organisation]. Thank you for the reference. I know it took time out of a busy week, and it clearly helped. If I can ever return the favour, just ask.

Keep your recommendations in one place with Take Your Skills

The frustrating thing about references is how easily they disappear. Your manager moves on, a client changes email address, and the praise you got for a project three jobs ago survives only in your memory. Take Your Skills is built so that doesn't happen.

You create a profile, then share its link with the people you've worked with. Each of them writes a recommendation about you. If the blank page puts them off, an AI assistant asks them a few questions and they answer in their own words; anyone who'd rather write it themselves can skip the chat.

Their recommendations appear on your public profile, and you decide which ones are shown. You can send the profile to a recruiter by link, or download it as a PDF to attach to an application. From your public recommendations, Take Your Skills also writes a professional portrait of you, drawn from what the people you've worked with have said.

In practice:

It's free, for you and for everyone who recommends you.
People who write for you sign in with a code sent to their email address, so there's no password to remember.
You can make any recommendation private at any time.
It doesn't replace the reference check a new employer runs. It gives them, and you, something solid to read before that call.

How to ask for a reference: 13 messages you can send today